My Mommy and Daddy

I was feeling antsy tonight, so I was sitting around messing with my computer. I looked up and realized that it was midnight, then I saw the date. Today would be my parents' twenty-something-th anniversary. I'm not sure what I feel. It's kind of a weird throbbing in the pit of my stomach to think of the whole situation that way. To imagine them still alive and happily married...what would they even look like if they were alive today. I wonder if they would recognize me. I hope they would. I'm pretty sure my mom would, she used to just sit and stare at my eyes sometimes, tell me that they looked just like my dad's.

In honor of my parents' anniversary, I'm going to tell a story. You ready?

My parents were both English students at the University at the same time. Both of them were dating different people. But, as my mom tells it, the moment she saw my dad she knew she had to have him. As my dad tells it, he didn't even like her because they guy she was dating was a jerk. Well, time went by and she broke up with the jerk. Eventually he broke up with his girlfriend, so mom decided it was time to make her move. She had tried to say hello to him every time they saw each other, but he hadn't been very talkative. So one day after English class, she walked up and said "Hey, we have a bunch of classes together. You're name is Jonothan and mine is Elana and we're going to be friends. The next time I see you, you'd better say hi!" Then, she walked off.

Well, time passed and he said hi when he saw her. Eventually, they ended up in the same class right before lunch, so they started eating lunch and walking to class together. They would talk about class and life and whatever books they were reading. Finally, he invited her to this play he was in. She was all excited at the chance to see him outside of their normal setting. At this point, she had gone back to dating her old boyfriend, but things weren't going so well, so she had hope! Well, she went to the play and waited for him outside with the families. As soon as he came out this other girl (the one he had broken up with before) came leaping into his arms! Mom was stunned, she was sure they had broken up. She went home broken hearted.

Not too long later, my mom had a class with daddy's little blond girlfriend. She heard her telling another girl that they had broken up the week before and she was plotting to get back with him. Well, Mommy knew she had no time to waste! That same day she asked him out on a "not date between two people who are just getting out of relationships and aren't ready to date any one else but would like to go see a movie together". He fell for it!

Well, she was sure she had found the right guy, but he really didn't want to get in a relationship. The next semester he was going off to Ireland and couldn't imagine putting someone through that. It's important to note at this point, for anyone who doesn't know anything about my daddy, he was always the knight in shining armor. Well, he fought her off for most of the summer, but by the time he went to Ireland she had him calling her every day just to talk. When he came back, they were inseparable.

And that's the story of my mommy and daddy getting together. I know you're up there looking out for me now and I want you to know that I haven't forgotten you. I hope I'm making you proud!

Models have feelings too

So, I guess it's entirely possible that I'm a bad person. I mean, I never tried to be a bad person per se, but i really did hurt my sister's feelings and I am really sorry.

After work today I had this long voice mail from LaShawn (my uncle/dad) about how upset Paula was. Apparently, she had stormed off to bed the night before after reading my blog and then had called out sick to work this morning. I did my best to get out of the house early so I wouldn't have to deal with her.

I have to pause to say this, LaShawn is a very patient man. Both of us were furious at one another to the point of avoiding each other and he had the care, though not really the time, to step in and find out what was bothering us and force us to make up.

Now when I say "make up" that doesn't mean it went smoothly. Paula and I got into a screaming match about who has things tougher and who cares more about who, but he waited it out. It very nearly came to blows, which it honestly wouldn't be the first time that Paula and I have gotten into a fist fight outside of the dojo. In the end, it became clear to me that Paula was angry because she felt like I was leaving her behind when she had felt like we were so close. I guess I should have been grateful for those feelings instead of being mad at her.

I just...okay, I'm going to go on a personal tangent here. My parents were killed during the war when I was ten years old. They were trying to help my uncle cross the border because he had gotten into some trouble with the militia. When they were trying to cross their car was hit by a rocket from the north and everyone died on impact. While they had been on the road, they took me to my Aunt Edana's house where I could stay until they got back. Of course, they never got back. Edana and her husband LaShawn have been like parents to me ever since then. They officially adopted me a month later. I couldn't have asked for any better than this family has given me.

The thing is this though, I don't feel like I've ever had anything of my own. Not a house, not a toy, not a thing. It all feels like it's on loan. I was excited about having this apartment because it meant that I would finally have a place that was just mine and that I was paying for with my own money from my own job. I think Paula gets that now.

I don't want to leave these people, especially not my sister. We may be cousins by birth, but I can't imagine being any closer to a person than I am to my sister now. Okay, before I start crying again, I'm going to wrap this up.

Love you Paulie!
Your sister, Zuri

This is Silly

Okay, here I am, doing this blog thing. It's a silly idea, I really don't have anything to say. I was just reminded recently of my dad and how he told me that the secret to being a writer is to do it. So here I am, Zuri Wallace, being a writer. I can't imagine who would want to read my blog.

Hmmm...What do I write about on here anyway? Isn't it weird that an English teacher can't make up a prompt for herself? It's ridiculous is what it is. Anyway, I'll just go with the old standby of writing about something that's important to me.

Teaching. As long as I can remember I've wanted to be a teacher. Don't get me wrong, I wanted to do a lot of other things in the process, but that has been a constant for me. I can remember chasing Paula around the house with a copy of one of my dad's books and forcing her to listen to me read. She used to hate it, but I felt like that was the only way to get better (and I wanted her to hear my favorite stories (not to mention, I was in a lot of them)). When I was five, my mom brought me home some supplies from an old classroom that they were throwing out. There was a tiny whiteboard that she mounted on my wall as well as a school desk and some old markers. I used to sit my doll Halliberry up in the desk and make her listen to me teach about "The Twilight Princess" or the old books I used to read with mom and dad like "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe."

I always loved to read. I think that was my parents' doing. I remember thinking that if everyone had parents like mine, they would all love to read. Maybe that's part of my goal as a teacher, to make kids as excited by a story like Othello as I am. To be honest, as much as I want to understand people's apathy toward great literature, I just can't.

After my two years of service as a Service Teacher, I knew that I wanted to become a career teacher. My mentor was the greatest. Teena Julian was her name, she still teaches in Atlanta, but we haven't talked in awhile. She had had my mom as a teacher years before and the first thing she said to me was that she would be shamed if she couldn't make me at least as good a teacher as my mom made her. Just thinking about it almost makes me cry. I really miss my mommy sometimes!

Oh God, way off topic. So, yeah, I guess that's going to conclude my first blog entry. It ain't exactly five paragraph form, but it's close enough for jazz. Wow, I have never used that term before and it just came out. I guess it's true though, blogging is sort of the jazz of writing. You just say what you say as it comes to you. I just hope none of my students ever find this blog, then I can't say anything bad about them on it. Mwa ha ha.